Steps towards marriage

Scripture: 2 Cor. 11:2-4; Matt. 1:18-25

Introduction

It’s wise to find through prayer a future partner that you love. This is a person to whom you are attracted emotionally.
Marriage has four important steps that must be attained very well.

1. Approaching and Courting

The person must be of the opposite gender (male or female) and you must be attracted to them. In the book of Judges 14, we have the story of Samson who brought a girl who did not have the favour of his parents. He had gotten a girl from an enemy tribe, the Philistines. Samson told his father to get her for him because “she pleased him well” You must get someone who pleases you. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Different people have different ideas about beauty. NIV talks of “the right one for me” Rightness means something that has met some correctness in behaviour, morality, conformity to beauty and so on. He had earlier on kissed another frog. We are not told how far he had known Delilah. NLT says, she looked good to him.

Genesis 29:16-17. Rachel was was beautiful in form and appearance. Leah had weak eyes. Weak eyes can mean something different. Maybe she was not physically attractive as compared to Rachel. It’s advisable to get a leader in church to walk with you in the journey of marriage. Approaching a girl differs from a person to another. This stage is not a walk in the park, and has left many disgruntled and a number has left their churches because of it. You need to walk with someone.

2. Proposal and acceptance

Before making a blind proposal, look at the person and their response and reactions to various situations. In Jewish culture, marriage had 2 steps; betrothal and consummation of a marriage. Even though at betrothal a couple was considered husband and wife, consummation of the marriage was still not allowed. But it is good when children are born in a complete family that includes a husband and wife. The second stage after betrothal was consummating the marriage.

3. Betrothal (engagement) and maturing of love

Proposal and acceptance give birth to betrothal. Betrothal gives birth to emotional feelings of possession. It brings the feeling of possessing the person. It also causes rivalry, jealousy and fears of unfaithfulness. At this stage, a third person can cause the relationship to crumble, perhaps with competing promises. Betrayal after betrothal can be very heartbreaking to all parties, including the parents.

4. Marriage and consummation of marriage

A marriage is an event through a wedding. After the wedding we have the consummation. It’s at this stage that the union becomes lawful.

Conclusion

God can still come and meet us at our areas of need. A youth does not have to be married outside church. It is possible to involve God and experience his hand in this experience.